1.31.2009

Lessons on Becoming a Chicago Apartment Gold Digger

Being a self-proclaimed feminist since age 3, I usually like to discourage the use any misogynistic stereotypes like slut, prude, gold digger. There just tacky and clichéd and usually wrong. But I’m going to ease my strict no sexist stereotypes for one entry because in truth I am a gold digger: a Chicago apartment gold digger.

So to take another leap from my feminist roots, I’m going to quote Carrie Bradshaw and say women are always looking for three things: a career, a boyfriend and an apartment. It is simplilistic but for this 23 year old moving to the big city, it held true. Moving to Chicago without the first two, I thought it was important, no vital, to have a kickass apartment.
So last December, I scoured craigslist for the best Chicago has to offer, and in the process I learned some important lessons on how to become an apartment gold digger.

Lesson #1: You have to get down and sometimes quite literally dirty.

I saw about 15 apartments and probably talked to some 40 or 50 different potential roomie searchers before I struck gold. I saw an apartment described as a smallish room, which was actually an 8X9 apartment complete with peeling paint and melted candles on the windowsill but lacking a door. There was stained carpets, mice turds, cigarette butts, moldy refriderators, empty beer bottles and unwashed pungent human bodies; none of which is shown on craigslist and all of which were deal breakers.

Lesson #2: It isn’t just about the looks.

You can’t judge a potential beautiful apartment just by looks; you’ve got to actually meet your potential roommates. There was one to-be-roommate, a struggling stand up comic, who didn’t smile through the entire tour and didn’t even crack a smile at my classic puns. That just isn’t right. Also watch out for the “LTR” because you will either never see them- in which case you might as well live alone- or you will always see their partners- in which case you are paying too much rent. And the geeky Twilight reading thick framed glasses girls while sympathetic and sweet are some major kill joys when you want to do anything besides watch Buffy past 10 oclock at night. On the other hand, the Dry Eye Drops carrying, my friends and I have a band, I have every bob Marley album on vinyl folks might just carry the party on a bit too long. It’s important to have your dealbreakers in roommates, ie, no smoking, no cats, no live-in partners, no Richard Simmons work out videos. Even gold diggers need standards.

Lesson #3: It is all about the accessories

Accessories: gold diggers little secret to a true find. It’s easy to forget, the little things when you are just looking for room measurements and CTA access, but the “etc.” can make all the difference in the end. Look for shared common things like a flat screen TV or if you’ve hit the motherload- TIVO. Also check out the kitchen for appliances- blender, stainless steel pans, or even a Kitchen Aid- are all reasons to celebrate a found gold mine. Also check out the potential room and see if anything will be staying. One place offered to give me all the shoes the previous girl left behind. It is these little things that can make a plain old apartment a golddigger’s home.

So how did these little lessons work out for me. Well I’m living the gold digger’s dream in a 3 story grey stone complete with TIVO, a Kitchen Aid AND a wine cabinet. The floors are all hard wood, the ceilings 12 ft tall, and there is an enclosed back porch. Plus my roommates include an indie rock thespian and wino lesbian, two of the coolest people I’ve met in Chicago.

Yup I hit gold.

1 comment:

  1. keep us posted on when the honeymoon wears off with the roomies.. (come on.. no dirt at all? do they read the blog???) and on the "procurement" of items 1 & 2 on your list..
    j.a.t.
    while the purple hat is funky.. maybe a different photo would might attract a few bees to your honey.. :)

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